[ book tip by Adam Stevenson ] William McGonagall is largely regarded as the worst poet who ever tried.  

In this collection we see that his reputation is justified. All a reader needs to do is read one of the many poems here and it is clear that the man is a virtuoso mangler of the English language. Read a number of these delightfully awful poems and you will quickly realise that William McGonagall can maintain this atrocious quality with a consistency all other poets must envy. 

It’s not only that the man can’t write poetry; the subjects he chooses do not help him. No royal movement goes unheralded ('Victoria is a good Queen, which all her subjects know/ And for that may God protect her from every foe'), no new monument unveiled ('Beautiful Railway Bridge of the Silvery Tay!') and certainly no tragedy left unsung (''Twas in the year 1869, and on the 19th of November/ Which the people in Southern Germany will long remember') plus lots of poems in favour of his most favourite hobbyhorse – the temperance movement ('My parents were sober living, and often did pray/ For their family to abstain from intoxicating drink away').  

For a non-drinker, McGonagall often found himself in pubs where he read his poems to heckling audiences. However, he was a man with infinite belief in his enormous talent. He even walked to Balmoral to ask Queen Victoria if he could be her poet laureate – she pretended she wasn’t in. Even with all this obvious and blatant failure, McGonagall did not give up and managed to trawl the streets of Dundee giving readings and selling self-printed copies to anyone who would take one. It is this strength of character combined with weakness of verse that makes him great. 

Although most attention is rightly focussed on our literary successes, sometimes it is equally right to remember our heroic failures, and no failure is more heroic than William McGonagall.

[ Favourite quote ] 'Beautiful Moon, with thy silvery light,
Thou seemest most charming to my sight;
As I gaze upon thee in the sky so high,
A tear of joy does moisten mine eye.'

[ book info ] McGonagall, William: Poetic Gems. (Book language: English) Introduction by Billy Connolly. Gerald Duckworth and Co , London , 1989 (1989). ISBN: 0715631519.